Fear. There is probably no one who has never been afraid - of anything. Some people are afraid of enclosed spaces, others of open spaces. There is fear of the unknown, sometimes also of the familiar, and many sailors are also very familiar with fear on board - in its many different facets. What is it about fear in general? Where does it come from, why does it come at all?
Read more about "Psychology on board":
Firstly, experts say that anxiety is important. In many cases, it is healthy. Fear sharpens the senses, makes us cautious and helps us survive. And - fear is something completely normal and is one of the seven basic emotions: Disgust, joy, sadness, anger, surprise and contempt are the others. Fear makes the mind and body more alert. And it is helpful, even if it is hardly felt that way in the actual anxiety situation.
If our ancestors had not been afraid, many more of them would have either been eaten or fallen into a ravine. During evolution, the ability to perceive fear was of great survival value for the individual, because feelings of fear warn of danger and thus help to protect or maintain one's own survival, integrity and personal well-being. It should therefore be emphasised that Fear is a completely normal feeling.
Development of fear
However, if the intensity of anxiety exceeds a critical level, the performance that can be called upon to solve a problem decreases significantly. The more anxious we are, the more our problem-solving ability is impaired. Driven by fear, we do not necessarily make the best, most effective decisions. As the saying goes, fear is not necessarily a good counsellor.
Of course, there are also various fears on board that everyone would like to do without. Fear of the water in general, fear of going overboard, fear of leaning, fear of what you can no longer steer, and that doesn't just mean the ship. Anyone who has to deal with fear on board would prefer to block out this unpleasant feeling completely. But that doesn't work, or at least not always.
To understand why this is the case, it helps to take a look at the origins of anxiety. "Fears," says Gaby Theile, psychological psychotherapist for clinical behavioural therapy from Diez, "can be learned as part of the underlying model learning process in humans or can be adopted without being tested." For example, if you grew up with a parent who had stressful experiences sailing. Or even if you have prejudices against sailing and your own child is confronted with statements such as "Sailing is dangerous and only for adventurers and weirdos!" for years until they adopt them themselves.
Similarly, the recurring educational message "You can't do that anyway!" can become an inner belief over the years, which is activated in many situations when it comes to facing a new challenge - such as taking up sailing.
Anxiety caused by internal and external triggers
"Some people tend," says Theile, "to stay in their comfort zone, which is not so comfortable, but rather familiar, and thus often remain far below their potential possibilities. The basic conviction 'I can't do that anyway' then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: as this attitude means that new challenges are avoided, there is no chance of correction."
Anxiety can be caused by internal and external triggers, explains Gaby Theile. "There are fears of anticipation, for example - you might be afraid of getting seasick or being caught in a thunderstorm."
In addition, there are many known and unknown triggers that we may not even be aware of at first: These can be the smallest aspects of a memory trace - for example a specific odour, a certain sound or a specific physical sensation that suddenly appears in the present and is linked to a stressful experience or memory from the past, says Theile.
"If you were travelling on a boat with your parents as a child, got caught in a storm and experienced it below deck full of fear while your parents were steering above, your specific memories of this fear-inducing event can suddenly and unexpectedly resurface when we have the musty smell from below deck in our nostrils again. The brain suddenly remembers a trigger that occurs and immediately reacts by reactivating the intense fear response of the past," says the psychologist.
Experience burns itself in
Everyone probably has examples of fearful situations. I myself remember that over 25 years ago, I was afraid to even set foot on my then boyfriend's boat. It was all new, strange, unknown, and I had no idea and, I have to admit, was completely uninterested in sailing. I just came along.
We were travelling from Neuhaus an der Oste and were heading for Brunsbüttel to go through the lock. It was my first time on a boat - and I knew nothing. It wobbled, it jerked, it tipped to one side, then the boom came and hit the skipper right in the face. He fell over the railing, and that's when the feeling of fear raced through my body for the first time - I'd never experienced a feeling like that before.
"You can't just go into a state of shock when you're sailing. In such anxiety situations, you have to keep going, that's just the way it is, you have to get through it. And you learn. The sea teaches you humility." Professional sailor Tim Kröger
Fortunately, my body didn't go into shock, but probably reacted correctly without realising it. I grabbed my friend by the belt at the last second and pulled him back on board. He was badly injured, there was blood everywhere and his nose and other facial bones were broken. That was my first sailing experience.
It became so deeply ingrained that today, so many years later, I still get scared as soon as our boat is on an angle and my husband has to go forwards - possibly unsecured, because, he always says, nothing is going on.
I usually hold my breath and tense up because I imagine him going overboard. I then don't know what to do. What if he gets caught in the propeller, what if he just drifts off and drowns? How am I supposed to steer a 38-foot boat in the right direction and save him without any sailing experience in strong winds? Can I get him on board?
Practical ways of dealing with anxiety
Yes, I could do a sailing course, all the licences, but the fact is that I'm a "harbour aunt". On the boat: with pleasure! Going out: Please only when the sun is shining, the wind is right and the boat is travelling straight. I know that won't change. And when the fear kicks in, the mental cinema goes into overdrive and I forget to breathe, and I've had panic attacks without knowing what they actually are.
"Simple breathing techniques often help here," advises Gaby Theile. "Combined with a helpful thought, they can have a decatastrophising effect. For example, you could say to yourself 'Inner strength and vigour' as you breathe in, and 'Everything will be fine' as you breathe out." Then inhale deeply into the lower abdomen through the nose and then exhale slowly with the lip brake, which is important: the exhalation should take two to three times as long as the inhalation."
There are other ways to deal with anxiety, says Theile. Concentrating on something beautiful or neutral in the surroundings, on the passing clouds, the sun, the boat that glides safely through the water even though there are a lot of waves.
However, it is important here not to sugarcoat things, because our brain doesn't believe us: you can't lie to yourself. Rather, it's about having helpful and realistic thoughts that you personally are one hundred per cent convinced of. Even a small residual doubt of just three per cent about a reassuring thought could prevail in an acute anxiety situation and would significantly weaken or even completely lose its anxiety-reducing effect.
It is better to focus on the experience of the crew, the skipper, who has already mastered much more challenging situations. Talking also helps. How does the crew see the weather, or, if there are only two people on board, how does the other person see the situation?
Gender differences in dealing with anxiety
One thing is certain - no one is alone with anxiety when sailing, whether male or female. In Gaby Theile's experience, however, it has been observed time and again that there are gender differences in the way people deal with anxiety, especially in generations that are still stuck in traditional role models, which can manifest itself in the way they use language.
Men often find it shameful to even have to associate themselves with anxiety, which they experience as a flaw or weakness. In this case, they find it difficult to talk about their fears and prefer to describe triggers and reactions in other words rather than fear. Women, on the other hand, rarely have a problem naming fears as such and are generally more open about their emotions and supposed weaknesses. In outpatient psychotherapy practices, there is often a gender distribution of one third male to two thirds female patients.
"My observation in sailing is that many women tend to be self-critical about their sailing skills and tend to hide their abilities under a bushel. If something goes well, they say, for example, 'That was really easy' or 'Oh, it was a coincidence ...', while men often overestimate rather than underestimate their abilities. At the same time, men are generally quick to actively take on tasks on a sailing boat and are quite willing to compete for the role of skipper, while women like to learn by watching and want to understand everything exactly before translating it into independent action. Even when taking on the role of skipper, they often let others take the lead. Of course, these personal observations from our own everyday practice and sailing experience cannot be generalised, and ultimately it always depends on the individual person," says Gaby Theile.
Women evolutionarily the guardians and protectors
"My wife Carla was comparatively fearless right from the start," recalls circumnavigator Bobby Schenk, who also sees it with humour: "Why do you think that was? Because she was a blonde and therefore didn't realise how dangerous the situation was? Far from it! Quite a few women on board are said to be more fearless than their husbands. Maybe that's because they secretly enjoy the fear creeping up in the otherwise great Zampano and want to show him what they're made of. Whatever the reason, all the women who have ever sailed with me - and there have been quite a few because we have been travelling with paying guests for years - have been surprisingly fearless in critical situations."
A personal opinion - Gaby Theile has a different explanation for this: "This is more due to the fact that we know that women are evolutionarily the protectors and guardians. Women are more cautious when it comes to anticipating danger. In such situations, they tell themselves in advance that it will be dangerous and then avoid all risks. However, when danger arises, women want to protect their brood and they are on top form," says Theile. "That's why even wild sows with young can be very dangerous. It's evolutionary in the female. So: women avoid danger, but when the danger is there, the woman is very active and fights to survive for herself and her young - and perhaps also for her husband. This has nothing to do with revenge on men. But of course you can interpret it the way Bobby Schenk did."
Anyone who believes that the professionals are more fearless because of their years of experience is mistaken. "I get scared every time there's a storm warning about the uncertainties I'm going to face - a fear that has never left me, but which I have accepted, especially as it is helpful in that it sharpens your senses," says Bobby Schenk, recalling his very first experience of fear: "It was at the very beginning of my sailing career, on the first night of my first Atlantic crossing. I was lying in my bunk and I suddenly realised that only five millimetres of plastic separated me from 5000 metres of water. But that was a fear that fortunately disappeared on its own."
Schenk was scared to death twice: "We were looking for an anchorage off Timor at night - without an engine, of course, as that would have been unseamanly - and suddenly heard whales blowing right next to us. It didn't stop and became so deafening that I lay down on the floor and covered my ears until it was over."
Bobby Schenk's second borderline experience was the storm of his life, "namely Bebe in the South Pacific, in Fiji, that was in October 1972. At that time, the winds were over twelve forces, speeds of around 150 kilometres per hour. After taking refuge in a river in the mangroves with the last of our strength, we hid in our ship and swallowed so many tranquillisers that we fell asleep."
Murphy's Law - what can happen, will happen
But even if others are also afraid, this does not help many people to cope with their own fears. The fear often starts in the harbour. And some skippers don't know what they can expect of their crew, who ultimately trust them. A tightrope walk.
"Strong winds in the harbour, spooky noises, dark premonitions: Halyards hitting the mast, the ships swaying on the murings, the wind whistling through the rigs, short, steep waves slapping against the ship's side, drizzle." This is how the chapter "Safety at sea" begins in Michael Stadler's book "Psychology on board". It's exactly the situation that many people know from their own experience and gives a flavour of what might be to come. Is the rain getting heavier? What awaits us outside? Should we even set sail? Damn, we have to tack 20 miles. Crew and skipper in conflict. The latter is looked at expectantly. So what now?
Stay or leave? Ah, leave. Then it can't be that bad. The skipper is currently thinking about other things: what if the wind turns into a storm? Is the trip well prepared for such conditions? Is everything well stowed away, are life jackets ready to hand? You always have to expect the worst. Murphy's Law - what can happen, will happen - unfortunately often proves to be true.
In our case, the skipper then decides to set off, and he is the only one who is ultimately happy about this decision, while his inexperienced crew is sometimes seasick, terrified and hoping that everything will just go away.
Good preparation is the key
It's like this: experienced sailors have different fears in dangerous situations than inexperienced sailors. This does not mean that they are numb, but that they have their fears at a different time than the crew members and simply have more experience under their belts. Experienced sailors are preoccupied with their fears long before the dangerous situation occurs and are therefore better able to anticipate the danger, prepare for it and avoid it.
Experience means knowing what to expect. The experienced skipper has that advantage over the others. The optimal behaviour of the skipper, which ensures maximum safety, is to expect adversity before the storm and to radiate optimism during the storm. Sounds logical, because what would happen on board if the skipper, the person in charge, drove everyone crazy with eyes widened in horror and phrases like "I don't know if we're going to make it".
Good preparation of the crew and the boat and a certain amount of communication are therefore extremely important, as Gaby Theile knows: "This is precisely the most important part of the international training of the Royal Yachting Association (RYA), where the main focus of yacht master training is not on the execution of a sailing trip, but on its planning and preparation.
And this is also the case in professional shipping, where the individual steps are as follows:
- Appraisal
- Planning
- Execution
- Monitoring
According to the RYA, fear can only be avoided through good planning, which is why the RYA's training is seen as so practical and fearless, because sailing should always be fun and never cause fear according to the RYA."
Camp fever versus fear
Again, from our own experience: years ago, we were blown in on our then 26-foot boat in Gedser, Denmark. Nothing but whistling wind, rattling halyards and endless swell for days on end. The wind raged and howled, it was terrible. And rain, nothing but rain. Even going to the Kro was no fun, even the beer no longer tasted good. Then, one morning: a rude awakening at six o'clock. "I'm getting cabin fever, I'm leaving now!" So far, so good. But it's not quite so great to have to dress for the weather while the boat lurches from one direction to the next. The wave against us, we were always thrown back again. The boat buffeted through the short, nasty Baltic Sea wave like a venomous manatee.
And then: nothing, nothing was secured because the skipper just "wanted to get going quickly". The thermos flask was open, dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, the TV was dangling back and forth unattached until it finally banged so hard against a wall that we no longer had a TV. I hadn't eaten or drunk anything. I was scared. Terrible fear. The ship: bang, crash, thunder. Always against it. Blind rage. Why hadn't we stayed in Gedser until the damn weather was better! He was standing outside without oilskins, soaking wet of course, "it didn't rain this morning". Going to the toilet turned into a death-defying challenge, which ended with the toilet seat on the floor. More blind rage.
When we would arrive in Warnemünde was written in the stars, because we were going backwards rather than forwards. The wind got stronger and stronger, the boat tilted so much that I really thought we were going to capsize. In between, I was shouting fearfully and he was shouting "Don't be like that".
Today I know that he was angry with himself. I just cried and got a raging headache. After what felt like days, we arrived at our destination harbour and I packed my bag and took the train back to Hamburg from Rostock. Holiday over. He went on single-handed. Vowed to do better. Made a list of things he wanted to do better in future. Better preparation, good stowing. We ended up with a new, bigger boat. Clever move.
Stay in communication
To summarise: fear is important, but too much fear is not helpful and can be avoided. Communication and preparation are at least as important as the willingness to learn, to participate, to at least try. And talking about fears, again and again. Understand the other person's point of view. Be self-critical. Then everything is not so bad.
As Bobby Schenk says: "What have I learnt from my fears? Nothing at all. I've escaped every threatening situation unscathed so far. But I can't say that I've become smarter or more fearless as a result. I have the same fear every time." Or you can do like Tim Kröger: "As long as the boat is still afloat, everything is fine."
