We knew that time was short. Unfortunately, the budget was too, and with a small budget you can't solve big problems in a short time - and that's exactly what we got. It was a chain of events, at the heart of which was a fraudulent concealment of previous damage to the boat we had bought and a shipyard owner, in whose hall my boat was standing for refit, who threw every stick he could find in my way. Of course, I also made mistakes myself.
I was devastated, my world collapsed. I was financially ruined, blamed myself and initially fell into a big hole. But instead of getting involved in years of legal disputes, I wanted to make a cut and look to the future. I sailed my old boat to the Caribbean and back on a low budget, which was the right decision.
I'm not one to look back and regret it. I've learnt a lot and I'm still proud of the courage I've shown. Big projects also need luck. I've always been lucky on the water, where you can solve almost any problem yourself, but a sailing campaign is decided on land right up to the start.
As I am very ambitious and was also somewhat in the public eye, it really hurt. Above all, I felt sorry for the volunteers in my team. But looking back, I have to say that I personally don't blame myself too much, because I didn't have much support either and we probably made the best of the opportunities we had.
For me, it was also an experiment as to why there are no German participants in "Round the World" regattas? I thought it was mainly because we didn't have any adventurous, crazy sailors, but we also don't have any courageous and enthusiastic investors. The Germans are hesitant, they wait and see if it will be successful, then they want to be part of it. But it doesn't work like that.
I had time to think about it and find out whether I really wanted to do it and why. After my Atlantic tour, I also know that I can manage very well on my own and I've learnt that you're almost alone with a project like this on land too.
I firmly believe that my campaign would be a great story for a sponsor, but it's out of my hands. So I'm planning differently now and have to see if I can make it work with a mixture of small sponsors and big unreasonableness when it comes to my own pension. But I've made my peace with whatever the outcome of this story is.
I won't reveal any details at this stage. Failing once in public is still forgivable, but I've learnt something new. I want to be more in touch with myself and focus on sailing rather than talking about it.