Happiness. A multi-layered word. Sometimes we've been lucky, luckily nothing has happened, lucky that we have this and that or not, and then of course there's happiness. And especially happiness on the water and while sailing.
But first things first: When is a person happy? There are many answers. After overcoming an illness, when falling in love, during a good meal or a cool white wine in a summer beer garden.
This might also interest you:
Happiness does not necessarily happen suddenly, it can also be brought about. We all know the saying: Every man is the architect of his own happiness. Bringing about something that makes you happy is a good thing. And anyone who knows the feeling of happiness knows how cosy it feels, how nice it is, this happiness. In our case, we've only been on board for one day, but we think it's been at least three. Sitting there, looking out over the water, chatting to our neighbours on the jetty, having a drink together, barbecuing, laughing, giving each other tips, sharing in each other's lives - all this helps us to wind down.
I also often work on board. That works really well. I then sit down in the ship, which rocks slightly, and write to myself. It almost doesn't feel like working any more, it's a pleasant activity. How lucky I am, and how happy I am!
Yes, happiness should be appreciated. But - what is happiness anyway, what happens to us when we have this feeling?
"From a biological point of view, the feeling of happiness is caused by the release of endorphins, i.e. the happiness hormones - from a psychological point of view, we experience this feeling after successfully passing situations," explains Dr Ewald Piel, a psychologist from Singen. If you have passed an exam, you are happy, you are happy after the birth of a child or after successfully mooring a boat in the rain and storm without breaking anything. Anyone who feels happiness would like to keep it. But happiness is temporary. However, contentment as a long-lasting state also includes moments of happiness.
People are happy in different ways - and yes, you often hear and read that many of us are happy on and around the water while sailing. "It's down to the circumstances," says Ewald Piel. "On the one hand, the monotony of the waves is relaxing when the sea is calm. The vastness and wind are perceived as pleasant and wonderful. People on boats are on their own; all of this promotes a feeling of happiness.
Added to this are peace, relaxation and an increased focus on the essentials - i.e. water, wind, sun and the crew. The fact that there are no distractions also plays a role. When you drive a car, there is noise, speed limits, traffic lights. When sailing, on the other hand, you have this quiet expanse.
There are different feelings of happiness when sailing. Long-distance sailor and author Johannes Erdmann summarises: "For me, it was somehow always all about buying an old boat, getting it ready for the long journey, then sailing across the ocean, fighting mile after mile to 'earn' the destination along the way. Only then did I feel the true happiness of having fought for and earned the tropical territory while sailing."
Of course, sailing does not automatically promise great happiness, there are also imponderables here: strong swell and wind, the rocking of the boat, seasickness. But once you have made it safely to the harbour and moored, the feeling of happiness returns.
"I'm not the kind of sailor who can't get enough of being on the water and pushing the boat through the waves," says Johannes Erdmann. "Short distances or just sailing around is not for me. I've always identified more with Wilfried Erdmann. His boat also stood behind the house on the lawn for years. For him, a trip had to have 'substance'. If I leave the harbour, then there has to be at least one other harbour at the end of the trip. And getting there is part of the happiness for me."
Happiness in sailing is different for everyone. Just the feeling of sailing out of the harbour, setting sail and then switching off the engine at some point. This moment of sudden calm is so marvellous. For my husband and I, perfect sailing is when the wind is blowing from the right direction - but not too much of it, please - and we have pleasant temperatures, when the boat glides along and there are only other boats to be seen here and there - and nothing else.
Just us at sea. Diesel and water tanks filled, enough supplies on board, it's not cold and not wet. Then perhaps lying at anchor and only hearing the gurgling of the waves. It creeps up, that wonderful feeling called happiness, it slowly flows through your body, lingers a little and if you're lucky, it stays a little longer. It's a shame when it often passes too quickly. Unfortunately, the feeling of happiness only lasts for a while. But perhaps that's just as well:
"Basically, any situation that becomes permanent leads to saturation. But I can keep in mind the previous history, i.e. the thoughts, feelings, actions and circumstances that led to these moments of happiness and thus achieve a limited extension," recommends Ewald Piel. You could also keep a logbook to record what you have experienced, remember these precious moments through activities such as tying knots, eating certain foods and looking at photos, thus keeping them present - but not forever, according to the expert, because: "After a certain time, it will be necessary to repeat the experience and thus enable new moments of happiness and refresh them."
Many people feel happy shortly after boarding their ship. Yes, it's like that - you come on board, walk down the companionway and have a cosy, comfortable, safe and warm feeling. At some point I thought about it for a while and tried to describe this feeling: "Like in the womb" came to mind.
A boat can give us the feeling that we are in a protective capsule," says the psychologist. "This in turn gives us a sense of security, gives us the feeling of being in a bubble with the water. We are one with the ship! If the ship is doing well, we are also doing well. Because the mother's wellbeing is a prerequisite for the child's wellbeing."
Water can do something. For many people, just looking at the sea is enough to make them calmer and less stressed. What does water do to us? Simply explained: life comes from water. Water is life. However, it is not just the water that makes us less stressed. The monotony of the waves plays a role, as does the wind, the visual expanse and, last but not least, the sun with its effect on our well-being. These are all circumstances that are present in water sports.
Ewald Piel remembers: "It was February, we took off from Germany in ice and snow and arrived in the Mediterranean with sun, sea, warmth and wind - during the three-hour ferry journey I was euphoric and full of happiness for an estimated two hours."
Being on the water means slowing down," is also the opinion of Patrick Meinken from Langballigau, who sails a Hallberg Rassy Monsun 31. "Everything in everyday life is fast. Cars drive fast, aeroplanes fly even faster. We race through life.
Sailing is slower, more conscious, more natural and focusses on the essentials. To get from A to B, you have to do something and come to terms with nature, get involved with it. Something that no longer happens in everyday life, or very rarely. We enjoy experiencing beautiful new things as a family without constant distractions and spending time together. Sometimes we spontaneously meet people who want to experience the same thing, and we have already spent wonderful, happy evenings that were not planned and were a lot of fun. Some encounters last longer and have even resulted in friendships.
We are so happy sailing. Our boat is our home in the summer, so we have a change of scenery for at least six months. And we also have a certain amount of time to decide what we want to do. You can't get any luckier than that. When our son asks: 'Which home is it right now?", that's as good as it gets."
We also hear time and again that sailing helps mental health. Get on the boat and everything will be fine? Probably not, but sailing can be an important part of therapy for burnout, adjustment disorders and more. Psychologist Dr Ewald Piel organises an annual personality development cruise on the Mediterranean. "With water sports, the accompanying circumstances are particularly favourable for therapy," he says.
"It's this beautiful peace and quiet," says Melina Goldmann, a sailor on a Dufour 390. "No one to bother, far away from the worries and stress of everyday life. Harbour porpoises jumping out of the water, foxes on the shore. And most importantly: my husband and son have something to do and are happy doing it."
Sailors often say that the great thing about long-distance sailing - and that starts after just 24 hours - is that you are satisfied or even happy with very little, you reduce yourself, so to speak: not being cold, not being hungry, having been to the loo, that's enough.
These are basic human needs that most of us can fulfil in our daily lives and are so banal that we don't even think about them. Yet these are elementary existential needs whose importance we only realise when we cannot achieve them - which can quickly be the case when sailing. Freezing is a common occurrence, as is not being able to go to the loo, and eating doesn't always work either.
We voluntarily put ourselves in this "danger" and if we then master the whole thing and feel good, then we are already happy.
"I also experience total happiness on the ocean," says Johannes Erdmann. "Especially single-handed. The first few weeks are tough, but then you get into a frenzy. I could always totally relate to Wilfried's non-stop circumnavigations. After three weeks at sea, I had 'arrived' in my own little world and could have sailed on and on. 'You can't see anything on a non-stop circumnavigation, that's complete rubbish,' I often heard. But people didn't understand that. A marathon runner doesn't run to see the world along the way. But to run. To cover distance. To see if you can keep going. After a few weeks at sea, I'm completely blissful on the way and don't even want to arrive. But when you arrive, it's still a fantastic feeling to see your boat, which was still on the Elbe the other day, there under the palm trees."
Sonja and Heiner Nessler from Stade are moored with their motor yacht in Sonderborg, Denmark. "We are very lucky to be moored and sailing in Denmark, where the people are happy. And friendly. And content. You can feel that and it's infectious. And last but not least, we are very lucky to have the best boat neighbours. It's the whole thing. Happiness is the view of the sea, the vastness, the sunset. I think we speak from the soul of some people," they say unanimously.
And Johannes Erdmann summarises once again: "It's also beautiful: the sunrise after a long night's watch on the ocean and the first coffee of the day. When the land disappears behind the horizon. Setting sail. Surfing the waves with our cat. A calm anchorage after a rough crossing - there are so many beautiful things about sailing and so much happiness." Fortunately, there is nothing more to add.
Interview with psychologist Dr Piel: "Happiness is not just a coincidence!"
Happiness can also be earned on the water. Psychologist Dr Ewald Piel talks about the requirements for lasting happiness and how to fulfil them.
What triggers happiness in us?
Luck is not just a coincidence, but can be brought about to some extent. We all know the saying "Every man is the architect of his own fortune". The question is: are we prepared to forge our own? Do we do something to ensure that such moments of luck favour us, and what can we do? For example, we can develop visions, strive for new horizons, rise above ourselves in critical situations, be courageous, defend what we have achieved, follow our own values - and so much more.
In which situations are we particularly happy?
When we recognise our self-efficacy. The decisive factor here is that we attribute the events that occur to ourselves. For example, when we remain steadfast at the wheel despite nausea - in other words, when we increase our self-esteem.
Does this happiness on the water have anything to do with the four elements of fire, water, earth and air? And if so, what does it do to us?
It's peace, relaxation, an increase in mindfulness of the essentials, and then you don't have the distraction of other disruptive factors such as road traffic.
Are people who sail or motorboat perhaps freer, or at least feel that way, when they are travelling by boat?
Definitely yes! At least on the boat. But they are also more responsible for their lives and possibly also for those of their crew. This then reinforces the impact of their actions and leads to a more pronounced self-attribution of this impact and ultimately to a greater increase in self-esteem.
Does happiness on the water have anything to do with fulfilling basic needs?
Freedom and security are important basic needs. Unfortunately, these two are actually opponents. With absolute security, freedom is reduced to zero. Conversely, with absolute freedom, security is reduced to zero. Our world is increasingly being regulated with the aim of making it safer for everyone. Others, such as state organisations, technology and rules, take responsibility for us, protect us, enable us to live a more comfortable life, relieve us of responsibility, but unfortunately also create the conditions for us to experience moments of happiness. A happy life is one in which the individual's basic needs are in balance.
How do you experience being on the water? How do you feel?
Whether on the sea, on the lake or on the river - each element has its own special charm and advantages. I feel safer on rivers and lakes - more freedom on the sea. What they have in common is the element of water and the special challenges of mastering it. I rarely expect special highlights that could lead to extraordinary moments of happiness - even if they have already happened several times. However, I am grateful for every experience, however small, with the natural elements, the crew or the technology, which show me who I am when I interact with them. Gaining self-knowledge through interaction with the elements on the water is one of my basic needs. Negotiating the balance between safety and freedom again and again.
Dr Ewald Piel offers a personal development cruise in the Mediterranean every September. Contact under www.psychologe-singen.de.
