Life on board a sailing yacht and in the harbours offers many a bizarre encounter. Author Steffi von Wolff tells us in her commentary"Wolff's territory" regularly talks about her experiences as an on-board woman. Not always meant seriously, often satirically exaggerated, but always with a lot of heart and a wink.
"Go away, I'll do it myself"
Last season, I witnessed a few times that sailing students sat happily together with their masters after a day's sailing, talking about botched tacks and jibes and how they could do better next time. They laughed together about mistakes. Yes, they laughed! Of course, there are also sailing instructors who lecture and let themselves be celebrated, I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about those who really take the time to explain something, even five times if necessary.
Of course there are sailing students around in this world who take a little longer to realise that the people on the boat who greet them after every turn are always the same.
There are also sailing students who simply realise that sailing is not for them, and then they just leave it.
And then there are those who don't care about sailing at all to begin with, who never expected to be sitting on a boat at some point and sailing through the Baltic Sea in all weathers, whose holidays have so far consisted of lying on a sandy beach and traipsing to the all-inclusive buffet. But who have to sail because there was and is nothing better for their boyfriend or wife.
Who go along with it, even though they have nothing to do with it in the first place.
Very nice of them, actually.
It's just stupid if the person sailing has a negative characteristic called impatience. I've experienced it myself. Here are my top five:
- Why don't you finally take a big step?
- It can't take that long to learn this simple fender knot.
- Why don't you just put the winch on correctly?
- Not like that, not like that, SOOOO NOT! I've explained it to you!
- Go away, I'll do it myself.
You hear something like that from other boats from time to time. Yes, impatience. Not a very outstanding quality.
Once you have been shown a bowline, you should be able to do it, because this saying with the pond, the tree and the snake explains everything.
A line drama once took place on the neighbouring boat. In the pouring rain and without a cake stand, the woman had to practise all kinds of knots outside. The man sat opposite her like an avenging angel and commented on every mistake in a way that couldn't have been more stupid:
"Jeez, that's not going to work, open up again, open up again, come on."
"Oh please, what are you DOING?"
"I just showed you! The other way round!"
"You don't want to be able to do it."
This impatience causes many learners to fall into a toxic stubbornness. "Then do it yourself" or "I'm going home" can be heard from time to time.
A woman once made such a slug of her husband because he hadn't shot a lead properly that he almost started crying.
"Man! Wolfhard! You're as stupid as a piece of toast. How many times do I have to explain it to you?"
Thank you too.
Impatience is not a virtue to be boasted about. It's a weakness. Like this!
Especially as it never, really never gets better when you have someone in front of you who folds you up because you let go of the sheet at the wrong time during the jibe.
In the worst case, it comes to the extreme: refusal.
One of my favourite experiences: On a boat opposite - it's a longside jetty - one man was practising getting on and off the boat with another. It was so marvellous: "So, Rolf, first put your right foot down, hold on to the shroud, you're doing great. Now the other foot. See, you've done it! Great. And now get on board. First the left foot, great. Now the other one. Very good, Rolf. Primrose." At school, Rolf would have got a star in his exercise book.
Oh, patience would be wonderful in my relationship too. But unfortunately, people don't change once they reach a certain age. And so I have to live with it:
"Hello, I showed you how to do that!"
"Now do it!"
"I've explained it to you!" (This sentence comes up again and again!)
Many impatient people think that because they can do it themselves, it's easy for others too. But if this is only the second turning point in your life, you can't really do it yet.
But the icing on the cake is when the skipper is badly prepared and mistakes happen as a result. Oh, heavens! I've seen it all before: the fore line wasn't in the anchor locker, even though he put it there "one hundred per cent". Fenders were still in the forecastle box, which of course is often the poor learner's fault (of course), and then the icing on the cake: when casting off, not all the lines were untied and almost half the jetty was torn away ("You should have seen that!"). It happened to us once with the shore power cable.
At one point, the impatient one and I ran into each other. Although I hadn't been steering, I felt guilty. Then a boat came to help us.
What a coincidence, we knew each other from the past and had once sailed a regatta together.
"Nothing has changed with you either," said the skipper to the impatient man. "Still everything fast, fast, right? You can always cut corners." And then to me: "He always used to run aground. And it was always our fault."
The impatient one then fetched the tow rope, which I had patiently stowed away in the right place.
If he hadn't found it, I would of course have patiently explained to him where it was! Because I can do that.
Have a nice weekend!
