“Aspiring deckhand seeks graduate with his own boat, no shorter than twelve metres”: For decades, the classifieds section of *YACHT* magazine was the go-to place for finding a sailing partner. With the rise of digital technology and the success of specialised platforms such as Tinder, Elitepartner and Parship, the search for a partner has shifted online. There have long been dating sites focusing on water sports enthusiasts, such as segler-sucht-seglerin.de or lovesail.com.
The advantage is obvious: life on board can be quite a Challenges for couples place. On the first Port manoeuvres In strong crosswinds, people reveal more about themselves than they do on a third date at a restaurant. Dating agencies that apply a certain level of ‘seaworthiness’ as a filter right from the start therefore promise, above all, more targeted ‘matching’ than the major providers.
Sailor Christian Nelling (name changed), who moved his life onto a boat after his divorce, has tried out the service: “The difference between sailing dating apps and Tinder or Bumble is that you can tick off a box on the list just for sharing a love of sailing. Otherwise, everything’s the same,” reports Nelling. However, he also quickly realised the drawbacks of apps exclusively for sailors: “The number of members is much, much smaller.” So the price you pay for more targeted matching is a significantly limited reach. “But if you’re determined to live on a boat and are looking for a partner for that, these sites are still helpful,” he believes.
Dating sites, Facebook groups and sailing companions
The market for matchmaking services for water sports enthusiasts is broadly divided into three categories: at the top are dedicated dating sites such as ‘Segler-sucht-Seglerin’ or ‘Lovesail’, as well as classifieds sites such as the dating section of the esys.org portal. Next come Facebook groups such as ‘Singles under Sails’ or ‘Sailing Singles Europe’. Then there are crew and sailing companion exchanges such as ‘Hand against bunk“, “Crewbay”, “Sailwithus” and, once again, sailing exchange groups on Facebook.
There are fundamental differences between these three categories: neither Facebook groups nor sailing exchange platforms are genuine dating sites. The groups on the largest social network operate on the basis of community. There is no matching process here, as is customary on dating sites. Members have to skilfully draw attention to themselves through discussions and chat posts. This is often chaotic, difficult to moderate and open-ended, but on the other hand very accessible and direct. The results are frequently no less satisfactory than those from dedicated dating agencies. “I met a female sailor on Facebook with whom I really got on well,” reports user Tim Groß (name changed).
Cruising matchmaking sites, on the other hand, perhaps combine the best of both worlds: whilst they are initially designed as online platforms, they automatically transfer the dating experience straight onto the boat. Here, relationship compatibility becomes apparent in practice on board. The often awkward process of making contact via chat – which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea anyway – is replaced by a conversation at the cockpit table.
Just how wide the choice is on sailing websites
On closer inspection, it is easy to gauge the actual potential for finding a partner. The German platform ‘Segler-sucht-Seglerin’ listed 372 adverts in June, of which 132 were ‘Female skipper seeks captain’ and 231 were ‘Captain seeks mermaid’.
Those looking for a partner should be aware that anyone online here is visible to everyone. This is because the adverts are publicly viewable, just like the classifieds used to be in newspapers. The only filter criteria that can be selected are preferred gender and an age range. If you have specific expectations, the selection quickly becomes limited. This is particularly true for those interested in same-sex relationships. What is helpful, however, is that the profiles ask very specific questions about sailing experience. Sailing skills, whether you own a boat, preferred sailing areas, and whether you’re sea-worthy or not – it quickly becomes clear whether someone is a good match.
The British equivalent, Lovesail, does not publish membership figures but, according to its own information, has been on the market since 2004. On the one hand, users criticise the fact that many profiles are out of date; on the other hand, the overall ‘quality’ of the members is praised.
Finding a partner in sailing groups on Facebook
The German Facebook group ‘Singles under Sails’, on the other hand, has over 1,000 members and functions like a large community: photos from the last sailing trip, a video of the skipper, father and son looking for a future sailing companion. And in between, plenty of casual chit-chat. People get in touch via the chat function. Open discussions under the posts, on the other hand, can be read by all other members as usual. It all comes down to personal preference: anyone who likes Facebook might find this group appealing.
The ‘Sailing Singles Europe’ group, which is also private and therefore not freely accessible, has over 11,000 members, whilst its pan-regional counterpart, ‘Sailing Singles’, has just under 32,000. However, the latter is public. Even more so than on pure classifieds sites, everything in Facebook groups depends on your own activity and initiative.
Singles cruises as a test of relationships on board
Offers for singles’ sailing holidays and shared sailing trips lead a rather low-key existence in the dating market. Providers such as Windbeutel Reisen and Singlereisen.de fill yachts with single people. “Our singles’ sailing trips are not ‘flirting weeks’, not speed-dating on the water and not matchmaking events,” explains Windbeutel, whilst at the same time deliberately raising hopes of finding a new partner.
Singlereisen.de offers sailing trips amongst many other types of holiday. Both providers allocate cabins on a same-sex basis and primarily serve the typical charter destinations in the Mediterranean, between Croatia and Greece, the Balearic Islands and Italy. What sounds a bit like “anything goes, nothing’s compulsory” on the website has both advantages and disadvantages in practice. On the one hand, anyone can count on one hand that the chances of finding a partner on a four-cabin yacht will be very limited. At the same time, there is reason to hope that, after seven days of living together in such confined quarters, a newly found partner will have revealed a great deal about themselves and their individual quirks. This turns a sailing trip into a real test of the relationship.
Tinder and the like offer more choice
The drawbacks of platforms focused exclusively on sailors are the very advantages of global dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Parship. With a much larger membership base, the likelihood of finding a match is far greater. The search and filter options are more professional, versatile and user-friendly. Potential ‘matches’ are automatically suggested by the site’s algorithm. Nevertheless, Elitepartner or Bumble are not automatically a land of milk and honey for single sailors. This is because the crucial filter that these platforms consistently lack is the ability to search specifically for people with an interest in water sports.
Sailors looking for female sailors – and vice versa – should therefore include this requirement in their profile description. Anyone looking to get serious straight away would be best advised to be as specific as possible on this point. ‘Usually on the boat at the weekend’ or ‘Planning a three-year round-the-world sailing trip’ helps potential matches to better gauge the reality of a relationship with a sailor right from the start. After all, outsiders usually have no idea how much time a boat demands, or how little a harbour toilet has in common with a spa.
What’s more, whilst sailing may seem attractive in a dating profile, it can also be off-putting: for some it’s too elitist, for others too rustic, whilst a third might go on a first date with reservations due to seasickness or a huge gap in knowledge. The guiding principle should therefore be: an honest and realistic portrayal of one’s own lifestyle spares both parties dates with no chance of success and disappointments later on in everyday life.
The virtual partner of your dreams, just the way you want them
Sooner or later, disillusioned long-term daters will probably wish they could simply create their dream partner or ideal sailing companion themselves. At least in the virtual world, the dating market now actually makes this possible: on websites such as candy.ai, anyone can configure their supposedly perfect match. For a monthly subscription fee, Pamela, Priscilla, Jayden or Tom will then chat with their human partner, send messages, and share photos or videos – whether demure or risqué, nautical or adventurous.
These models are primarily aimed at users’ dopamine addiction and their wallets, and are mentioned here solely for the sake of completeness – certainly not as an option to be taken seriously. The bottom line is this: specialised dating sites for sailors do indeed exist. However, many of them seem more like relics from the early days of the internet than modern dating platforms. Technically, they are often one-dimensional, with a design reminiscent of classified adverts and, ultimately, a rather limited chance of finding a match.
One major advantage of these specialised portals should not go unmentioned: the risk of falling prey to scammers or dubious dating services of any kind is likely to be significantly lower than on the globally operating portals catering to the mass market. Free services, whether from large or specialised portals, often quickly reach their limits. Convenient search and useful filter functions come at a price. Facebook groups are an alternative, provided you can put up with the quirks of that platform. In short: sailors will certainly find a date more quickly on Tinder and the like. On Lovesail, however, potential partners know the difference between a sheet and a halyard.
In search of sailing partners: two personal accounts
Tim Groß He was active for a while in Facebook groups and on the ‘Segler-sucht-Seglerin’ page. He sees both positives and negatives: “The good thing is that it really is only sailors – both men and women – who are active here.” So the most important filter seems to be working. However: “The user base is very male-dominated, the members tend to be on the older side overall, and the platform seems very old-fashioned from a technical point of view.” Another drawback is the lack of users in his region. “There are only a handful in North Rhine-Westphalia.”
Christian Nelling from Cologne has tried both: “I’m now consistently pursuing a two-pronged approach,” he laughs, “I’m also on the traditional sites like Tinder, precisely because of the small user base on the sailing-only portals,” he explains. He continues: “I only log into Lovesail about once a week,” he says; there aren’t any new matches to discover more often than that anyway, due to the lack of turnover.
Nelling doesn’t, however, miss the automatic matching and suggestion features on the platforms aimed explicitly at sailors. “With such a small number of members, you’ve seen them all within a few days anyway,” he says. The keen catamaran sailor is planning to sail round the world. “When you have such extreme life plans, it’s even more difficult,” he notes. “You can find suitable candidates on Lovesail, but the selection isn’t right. Over 80 per cent are from the US.” You can’t even meet up briefly for a coffee, and the language differences create additional hurdles.
Dating for sailors: providers and services
Dating sites specifically for sailors
The leading German dating website specifically aimed at sailors, with over 370 profiles, but without an intelligent search function or automated search. It does, however, feature plenty of detailed sailing-related information. Free of charge.
An international platform offering both free and premium membership options. From Sydney to Miami, everything is covered, and visitors are displayed. From 25 British pounds, a messaging function is also available.
Classified adverts on a traditional sailing website. Free, but with no search or filter functions whatsoever.
A modern blend of matchmaking, community and events. Available in Danish only. Open to fans of other water sports as well. There is a free section as well as a number of premium services available for a fee.
Social networks
Facebook groups
The world’s largest social network has many communities. Examples:
- Singles Under Sails A German-language site, with a chat and discussion-based format typical of Facebook.
- Sailing Singles Europe A singles group with a European reach.
- Sailing Singles An international group with a large membership.
- Singles by line Dutch group.
Crew-matching platforms
Not primarily intended as a dating platform, but good for making initial contact: handgegenkoje.de, findacrew.com, crewbay.com
Segler.Community is a hybrid service designed to connect both sailing companions and partners. It forms part of a wider range of interest-based portals. It offers numerous search and filter functions, but is not specifically geared towards dating. The basic service is free, with a daily limit on the number of contacts.
Sailing trips for singles
Sailing tour operator offering holidays for singles and solo travellers on charter yachts. Same-sex cabin allocation.
A specialist provider for single people. Sailing holidays are just one of many options on offer, but these also include specialised options such as sailing trips for singles with children.
General dating apps
- Parship: Explicitly encourages the search for shared interests. ‘Sailing’ appears only as a keyword in the profile.
- ElitePartner: Hobbies and interests in the profile; examples such as ‘sailing’ are shown.
- Finya: Detailed search criteria ranging from eye colour to favourite TV series, plus profile-based information; the platform is free of charge.
- LoveScout24: Emphasises profile details relating to lifestyle and leisure interests; hobbies form part of the profile.
- Tinder: Probably the widest reach internationally. Only useful for sailors if their bio or profile picture highlights sailing.
- Bumble: It has ‘Interest Badges’, which are designed to show how users spend their time and what matters to them. The first message in the chat must always be sent by ‘her’.
- OkCupid: International and interest-based. Terms such as ‘sailing’ may appear in profiles and in chat.
Book recommendations
Out at sea as a couple tells the story of an Atlantic crossing undertaken by Johannes and Cati Erdmann as a couple – with varying levels of sailing experience and the challenges of daily life in confined quarters. The report fits the theme because it does not describe how they first met, but rather the subsequent test of their relationship: joint decisions, limited space to retreat to, and the question of how a sailing trip becomes a shared project.
Join us on a sailing trip is aimed at people joining a crew for the first time. The book explains equipment, duties, nautical terminology and knots, as well as the basics of manoeuvres, navigation and traffic rules. For singles who want to meet other sailors on a sailing trip, it provides a practical introduction – and helps you feel more confident on board, rather than feeling overwhelmed when you first start out.
Is shared sailing experience more important than a wide choice of potential partners, or does a dating site exclusively for sailors limit your search too much? Join the discussion and share your experiences in the comments.
Jörg Müller-Dünow
Freier Autor